It’s funny how history repeats itself. Just over two years ago we were scattering my lovely Mother In Law’s ashes on the little garden of her holiday home at Lulworth cove. This week we were doing the same thing in a different way with Commando Senior’s ashes. It’s not an enviable task but one we will all probably have to be involved in at some point in our lives and it has a beauty and serenity to it.
1 September 2012
Today has been emotional. We hired a giant MPV and Commando and I drove, with Commando Junior and Bard down to Lulworth to meet up with Commando Senior, Commando’s sister and her children to scatter my mother in law, April’s, ashes. It’s a long drive and, with me navigating, we inevitably got a bit lost for a while but we did eventually arrive.
Commando Senior treated us all to lunch at the local pub and everyone talked about everything except the elephant in the room, why we were all there in the first place. For once it was a beautiful sunny day so, after we’d eaten, we decided, probably as an avoidance tactic, to go down to Durdle Door to walk off the calories. All except Commando’s sister, who obviously knew how steep the cliff path was. I wish she’d let me into the secret!
Anyone will tell you I’m not known for my mountain goat capabilities and getting down the pebble strewn path was bad enough but half way down it occurred to me that, at some point, I was going to have to get back up again. Eventually we made it onto the beach and spent a nice hour with all the boys skimming stones. I wandered up and down the beach, looking for shells, stopping occasionally to empty all the pebbles from my shoes.
Then came the climb back up. Whew, what a climb, not made easier by all the pebbles which shifted about underfoot and made the going tougher than it was already. I was pretty glad that Commando Senior (who is of advancing years) was quite slow and I could use the excuse that I was making sure he was alright to take it slowly myself. To be honest I think he was well aware of this and slowed down especially to keep an eye on me. Since I’ve had a few twisted ankle incidents on much less treacherous ground and one badly broken foot incident on a step in my own back garden whilst putting out the rubbish, he was right to be watching me. I’m pretty sure I burned off all the calories from lunch and a few more besides on that walk.
When we got back there was no putting it off any longer. April’s last wish was for her ashes to be scattered on her garden, so scatter we must! I was surprised by the size of the box to be honest. Somehow I expected something much daintier, a little urn or something. Commando Senior started it off, then everyone took turns. There were a few tears. The ashes were not quite what I’d expected, kind of gritty, but they also floated around quite a bit too which was slightly disconcerting. It’s really nice to think of her becoming part of her garden though. I hope she’s at peace now.